I've had a hard time with this.. I haven't really expressed myself and figured this might be the best way... who knows.
My brother-in-law took his life Oct 29th. Or at least that what we have been told. Is it wrong for me to believe or hope that something else happened.. specially hearing the stories ???
My sister married him two days before I gave birth to my second boy. It made it easy to remember their anni on the fact of that. I was huge bloated on their wedding day.. didn't even dance.. went back to my parents home and slept.
I hate to say it but for some reason I always had questions about my my brother-in-law. Like my sister deserved better. But she fell head over heals for him so I was happy for her. Seeing the way she just lit up.. I knew she was in love.
Ya did they fight.. hell I"m sure.. we're Irish.. you don't come at us:) lol! WE always fight back. But she was always there for me. In so many ways.
You know when you have that impact of where were you.. what were you doing when you heard the news... I can never forget it, and I can't forget how badly I wanted to just hop on the next flight and be there.. how many prayers I said.. just hoping that in some way.. somehow it wasn't going to turn out the way it did.
I'm having a hard time with it.. I know they say suicide is not a selfish act, but I also look and god.. really?!?!? She gave everything.. ya could she be a bitch.. probably .. I know I am .. but that doens't give you the right to just take your life and leave her.
I just I don't know..
I cant comprehend it all.. I hope that when I die that I'll get the answers.. I'm actually hoping that in some freak moment that it wasn't him that took his life that someone was responsible.
My sister did not deserve this.. if anything I wished it happened to me. I only pray that I take her pain away.. that in time she .. well learns to trust and love again.
I am pissed.. if he took his life and that's what it was.. sorry I can't say that it was not a selfish act. You left so many ppl. My nephew finally had a dad, and you didn't think of him either. Oh gosh!
I hope I am wrong but it bothers me almost every day.. I just feel like I should be the one .. not her .. she's so great and if bad things need to happen it should of happened to me, not her :(
